Because I am in need of some dream interpretation.
This morning, the twins woke up at 6:40 AM. It was still dark, and after everyone peed (I am seriously proud of how potty-trained they are!), then had a drink of water, they went back to bed. My treadmill is broken (another post to come) so instead of going downstairs to run, I went back to sleep, and for the next 45 minutes, had the craziest dream I've had in a long while.
I am at the twins' preschool trying to volunteer. I am wearing my watch upside down, with the face towards my arm and the battery side up, and I keep checking the time, but, obviously, can't tell it. All of a sudden, Dr. Phil is there. We have a really strange conversation:
Dr. Phil: What's up?
Me: I think I'm going to volunteer to read to a class that doesn't have my children in it.
Dr. Phil: No mother who is serious about her job would dream of doing that.
Me: What? Not serious? It's because I'm serious that I want to go to a different class. My kids behave worse when I'm around and I don't want them to get distracted by my presence.
Dr. Phil: Are you gonna listen to me here? Because I don't have to talk to you and one day I'm gonna be that kid's father-in-law (points to G-Dog).
Me: I'm listening. (I totally seem to believe that somehow, in the future G-Dog will be related to Dr. Phil. Weird.)
Dr. Phil starts pulling out papers and giving me some serious parenting advice that is all kind of foggy now, especially when examined under the bright lights of lucidity. He gives me a prescription for some behavior-modifying wonderdrug and tells me to take it myself.
When I get home, I start the drug, which I have to drink through a straw. I take the first sip, and before I can take the second, my face has erupted in hives and the liquid dribbles down my face when I try to drink it.
And then I woke up. I was absolutely sure that my pillow would be saturated with a cup's worth of something, but it wasn't. And I actually felt my face for hives, and to be certain, examined myself carefully in the mirror. It was ABSOLUTELY vivid and real. And strange.
So, what's your take? Any great insights into my psyche? Because I got nothin'.