When CPod and I were dating, he complained to me about the toilet paper stocked in the bathrooms at my parents' house. He called it John Wayne toilet paper -- it's rough, it's tough and it don't take crap from nobody.
Of course, because it was so hilarious, I immediately told my mom, who then used this little tidbit to maximum embarrassment capacity for my fair and delightsome (and thus prone to blushing) husband. She still gives him a hard time about it and we've been married nearly 12 years.
She has not, however, changed her toilet paper.
And neither have I. I would rather use plain old toilet paper that doesn't leave a little something behind, if you know what I mean, and since I'm the one buying it, CPod's stuck with John Wayne. Besides, when my kids decide to unwind the entire roll, they're only a quarter of the way through before I notice that things are too quiet and arrest them mid-crime. You can't say that about the soft stuff.
This week, we are in Florida with CPod's entire extended family. There are 15 of us all together, including 6 children aged 4 and under. Baby wipes have fallen into the "community property" category and I have discovered that they are not all created equal.
Give me rough and tough baby wipes that get the job done over those slimy, sensitive-skin wimpy ones that rip in half when faced with a really heinous crime against the schnoz.
Maybe John Wayne ain't so bad after all.