Saturday, January 17, 2009

A Shout Out to the Lurkers

A couple of weeks ago I received a message on Facebook from a friend of mine, one I went to school with from kindergarten all the way through to high school graduation. During that time, we went through varying degrees of closeness, but we were always amicable and friendly. One of the reasons I have enjoyed Facebook (at least some aspects of it) is because it has given me the opportunity to reconnect with people like her.


In her message, she mentioned how much she loves my blog, and that she and her sister read regularly. She said they talk about my family like they're her own. I was immensely flattered by this. I mean, my little family is interesting enough for people to want to read about it? I am still amazed every time I log onto Sitemeter and watch the dots appear on my little world map. I am excited every time I receive comments from friends old and new, and even from strangers (who still feel like friends.)

I read (too) many blogs myself and feel strangely close to these people whom I have never met. I feel reconnected to those with whom I was once close. And I feel enriched and uplifted by the experiences of others, and by the kinship of shared experience. We are all in this together, after all, and if we will buoy one another up, we have a better chance of getting through it in one piece.

Do I comment on those blogs? Usually, I do . . . but not always. Sometimes, I am a lurker. Sometimes, I reeeeallly want to comment, but I can't think of anything worthwhile to say. (You will never catch me writing something just to fill space . . . or just to get on the comment roll.) Sometimes, I am unmoved by what someone has written, and I don't feel like commenting. Sometimes, I'm just catching a quick read while I wait for the pasta to boil and I don't have time to leave a comment.

What I'm saying is: I know you read. And many of you don't comment. And it's totally okay. If I wanted to know about absolutely every person out there who passed through the I'm (not) Crazy Mommy portals, this blog would be closed, and I would have to invite you in. But I don't really care (in a good way) who visits.

Do I like comments? Sure! Who doesn't? Do I need comments to spur me on in my writing pursuits? Absolutely not. My fingers will continue to itch whether you read me or not, whether you like me or hate me or, even worse, are ambivalent. I will still have words swimming around in my head dying to be committed to the (virtual) page long after my last reader has clicked on the close button.

So, comment, or don't comment. Lurk or don't lurk. But I will not be trying to guilt you into leaving your mark on my blog.

So there.


  1. Hmmm.. this post seemed like you wanted me to comment. lol. I should comment more often. I'm sorry that I don't but I read EVERY post you put up. I check my google reader ever day! I "loce" your eloquence with words (please forgive me for using that I will never use it again since it belongs to you and your sister). It is fun to see how you and your family is doing!

  2. hey...i love comments so I am leaving one. I understand what you are saying. I too feel like I get to know people. And I do know about lurkers. My family are all lurkers. That part hurts sometimes...why don't they just leave their mark. Even if they are not good writers. Anywho. Just wanted to say: YOU are a GREAT writer. I enjoy reading. THanks for allowing us to be part of your family.

  3. Oh no! Did you think I was trying to guilt people in my post? Now I will be paranoid!

    BTW--beautifully written as usual....

  4. I don't always comment, namely due to some of the reasons in your post. Even though we once knew each other in a former life, and have absolutely no chance of ever hanging out on a regular basis, your blog just speaks to me. I can never predict the topics of the posts, and it is insanely interesting and hilarious! Keep it up, girlfriend!

  5. I'm usually reading while holding a baby. So I try to come back later and comment (such as now), but sometimes it doesn't happen.
    I comment just to comment. Guess I need to "talk" to someone other than children.
    Ya.. sad.
    I will continue to leave my mark on your blog. However lame it is. my mark. not your blog. incase you were confused!

  6. I blurk many a blog when I have time. I have "come out" to a few as I've grown to know them but wonder if they think I'm psycho for doing such since I actually don't know them beyond the cybersphere .... You I know and *LOVE* but still probably don't comment on every visit - you are far too consistent for me to keep up with!


Sock it to me!