My posts have been infrequent and unfocused lately. That's because my waking, semi-coherent moments have also been infrequent and unfocused. I am prone to exaggeration, but I'm not doing it right now: I have NEVER in my life been this tired for this long. I've decided to go ahead and adopt the nap schedule I plan to impose on my baby when he/she finally arrives in early November, with a morning nap, an afternoon nap, and an early bedtime. Otherwise, I don't even trust myself to operate heavy machinery, such as my mini-van, sewing machine, or clothes drier.
I was tired with the other pregnancies, but this is different. This is a deeper, more draining exhaustion that causes me physical pain if I don't get enough sleep, which, lately, seems to be about 20 hours out of every 24. My poor children. I hope television isn't as damaging as they say, because I spend a significant portion of my day laying on the floor wrapped up in a blanket so I can change the channel to Noggin or PBS when Tom & Jerry is over.
The fatigue is not helped by the constant nausea. I must confess: I hate to throw-up. Detest, despise, abhor, loathe and execrate. Intellectually, I know that if I could vomit, I might feel better for a little while. But my other issue is that once I've upchucked something, I can't eat it for a while. (12 years ago, I took two bc pills too close together. I ate a Chick-fil-a chicken strips salad for lunch at the mall. And had to puke it up behind a bush outside the entrance to JC Penney because all the stalls were occupied in the bathroom. I didn't eat chicken strips again until last year. And I have to really think about it before I'll eat them still.) The list of things I actually like to eat right now is very short, and I cannot afford to have anything stricken from the realm of possibility:
3. crushed pineapple suspended in cherry Jell-o
4. Nutella on toast
5. Cream of Wheat or Shredded Wheat depending on my mood
6. chocolate milk
8. everything bagels with butter and cheddar cheese
9. Edy's strawberry fruit popsicles
10. Strawberries, apples, oranges, really good grapes. Maybe watermelon. Mmm. Wish it were in season. (MommyJ, where did you find yours, and was it any good?)
11. Grapefruit with honey
12. Super-crispy bacon
13. Campbell's Homestyle chicken noodle soup. Or ramen noodles, if I'm out of the good stuff.
So, instead, I just run to the toilet several times a day and dry heave enough to pee in my pants. That's WAAAAAY better than spewing, right? Right.
Mercifully, my mother and my husband have decided that it's important for the rest of my family to eat even though I really don't feel like it, and they have taken on nearly all food-related duties. Thank goodness -- what with the tv consumption, I'm downright neglectful.
In other news, I've also decided to just wear pajamas all the time. If the bottoms don't have a pattern, I think I can get away with wearing them in public. And pjs are pretty cheap, right? Because I just don't have the energy to do laundry, and I would really prefer disposable clothing right now. Convenience and expedience, that's my motto. Besides, I'm not spending any money on groceries. That leaves a whole bunch left over for wear-and-toss jammies.
Speaking of tossing, today, I disposed of a container of leftover chili by transferring it to a more size-compatible sealed container and putting the whole thing in the trash. Because I just can't take chili right now, even it if is CPod's award-winning recipe. Blech.
That's all for now. I'm way into overtime for the afternoon nap. I just started a movie for my kids and I think I can steal away to my bedroom for some sleep with two eyes closed instead of just one.