Wednesday, August 19, 2009

The Interpretation of Tongues

I'm back! Wow, that was a long four days. Long, and eventful, and full of blog fodder, but that stuff will have to wait for another post. Because do you know what I was thinking yesterday? How sad it was that my 100th post was posted by someone else because I didn't have internet access. (Thanks to MommyJ, though, for keeping everyone in the loop.)

And then we got our internet up and running again. And I made the happy discovery that MommyJ's post on my behalf yesterday was, actually, only my 99th post. Which means . . . I can still do my fabulous give-away for post number 100!

Okay, so it's not that fabulous. And you have to work for it. And then, still, I'm only giving away one thing.

Here's the set-up: when MayDay was just beginning to talk, he talked a lot, but most of it was indecipherable. Oh, he talked a blue streak -- he was so earnest in his attempts to make us understand what he was saying, but CPod and I just plain didn't get about 95% of what he was saying. He was usually very patient with us, but sometimes this communication barrier elicited some serious weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth. Poor little guy -- he had a lot to say, but lacking a MayDay-English dictionary, we were in the dark. One day, we were sitting at the kitchen table eating dinner. MayDay was rambling on as usual, and, as usual, CPod and I were clueless as to what he was saying, when, all of a sudden, G-Dog piped up and said, "He says, 'I'm all fulled up.'"

MayDay's little face lit up -- he had a translator. So, with G-Dog's help, we figured out how to decipher MayDay's little language until his skills developed enough for his words to sound like English.

He still says some things that sound a lot like gibberish to the uninitiated -- but once you figure it out, you can understand his every word. He's nothing if not consistent, and his mispronunciations were strangely similar in their syntax. But. I did capture some of these moments. And so here is your task: you, dear readers, are charged with translating. I have posted here several short clips of a few utterances that might not be easily discerned by those not fluent in MayDay speak. Submit your translation for each clip in the comments section by Friday at noon (my time -- that's east coast, if you're wondering). I will select a random winner from those who get the most correct answers.

And what will you win? Do you remember this post about my tweezers? Well, friends, I have a brand new pair of cilia forceps just longing to help you shape your eyebrows into something worthy of Vogue. You need them. You know you do. You want them just badly enough to listen to my son butcher the English language for 15 seconds of your life.

A few hints: like I said before, he's very consistent in his mispronunciations. And I have not coersed him into saying any words that he does not use in ordinary, 2-year-old conversation. Granted, his vocabulary is a bit on the extraordinary side.

Let's review.

1. Watch the videos.
2. Make a note of what you think he's saying.
3. Write your answers in a comment to this post.
4. Check back on Friday, because you just might win a pair of brand new, still in the package, unused, medical-grade cilia forceps.

And, please, only one entry per person.

So, go forth! Listen! Translate! And do not be alarmed when your comment doesn't show up. I've taken a page from The Pioneer Woman and turned on comment moderation. We don't want any cheating! After the contest is over, I'll reveal all the comments as well as the correct answers so you can see how you measure up.

There is a good possibility that no one will get any answers correct. That's okay. In the event this is a total bust, I will randomly choose a winner from all of the comments regardless of the number of correct answers. So give it a try. It will be fun!

One last thing -- if you've heard these words in real life (MommyJ, Mom, Melanie, Jessie, etc.) you're disqualified. You're probably getting cilia forceps for Christmas anyway, so don't ruin it for everyone else.

Good luck!

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  1. Emily, I love to read your blog and keep tabs on your family. Here are my guesses:
    !-I have absolutely no idea what he is saying!
    2-I did it
    3-Good Night
    5-i'm Pretending

    I don't know why I'm trying to translate what your son is saying. I always have my children translate for eachother. It works much better for me

  2. Wow, I haven't a clue!

    I think I heard a "I did it" And "toering" in there. Ha.

    And congrats on 100!

  3. Well, this is a piece of cake! And it reveals a secret life of crime and fine dining:

    "Toby Toe-rag" (1) is MayDay's pseudonym for crimes he commits at intersections.

    At "red lights" (3) he orders a "cow caesar" (4) which means he defiles a perfectly good salad with, not just steak, but the "hairy tongue." (5)

    And worst of all, he's proud of his crimes against romaine lettuce.

    "I did it", he gleefully declares in video #2.

    I'm thinking this boy needs better supervision. Or a semester at culinary school.

    So, do I win??

  4. What the freak! You gotta be kidding me? the first one is "pull your toe out?" and the rest made my brain spin!

    I can only hope for the random draw Im afraid!

  5. How fun is that! I love the idea of a 100th post give away. I'll have to remember that one!

    Ok, my tries:
    #1. Sounds like "hold my toe rag", which can't be right. So how about "it's my turn"

    #2. sounds like aligator to me.
    #3. Lemonade?
    #4. I'm going with catipillar, but it really sounds like elevator.
    #5. Number 10? (if it was my kid I'd think he was saying "Tubber time" which means bath time, but I doubt you call baths tubbers!)

    I'm usually pretty good at guessing kids stuff, but that's with some context clues. These are pure guesses!

  6. 1) Auditorium? or "holy terror"? ha ha ha had to listen to it so many times couldn't tell for sure.

    2) I did it!

    3) Monday

    4) Calitaser - doubt this is a word :)

    5) Rubitossen (like the medicine)

    Good luck to me!

  7. Okay, so I have no idea what he is saying, but in the event that there are no correct guesses, then I would LOVE to be in the drawing for the fabulous tweezers. Even if I don't win, then I would like to know how to locate this wonderful grooming tool. My guess is that he is saying alligator in one of the clips. Maybe suppertime in another? I definitely don't have enough experience to understand toddler speak. I may not be able to understand him, but he sure is cute!

  8. Hold me, taurus.


    Good night.


    Upper tongue.


  9. OK - so I am still going to guess even though I am already disqualified. Let me know if I'm right.
    1) help me color it
    2) I did it
    3) really nice
    4) alligator
    5) lets pretend

  10. Brian and ChristinaAugust 19, 2009 at 11:10 PM

    1. Four leaf clover? But we're gonna call in a lifeline and see what K thinks in the morning.

    2. Alligator

    3. Red Light

    4. Calculator

    5. Advertising

  11. Okay, here are my guesses:
    1. Hold me toe ring Umm, I know that's not right.
    2. Alligator
    3.Good night
    4. Elevator (or Darth Vader, I couldn't decide)
    5. Of her tongue (yeah, that's not right either, but hey)
    And I don't know if I really want some tweezers, but this was a funny contest. I can't wait to see other responses and the real answers.

  12. I like the "I'm all fulled up" comment. Although I'm no good @ contests and stuff. May the best translator win. ;)

  13. I know I'm disqualified. All I have to say is I love him.

  14. I'm glad you got to do the 100th post!!! And that you're back amongst us! I would love, love, love some cilia forceps (age has a way of hairyfying you! Whimper!). The idea is fun and my college age daughter and I had a great time trying to decipher MayDay! So here are my guesses, in order:

    1. Colby told her
    2. I did it
    3. midnight
    4. alligator
    5. I pretend

    Probably all wrong! Can't wait for you to post the translations!

  15. I missed the time limit of the contest, and I really think I could only interpret maybe two of the phrases anyway. (#1 - show me Dora? #2 - alligator #3-red light #4 - cows ate her? #5 -I'm pretending) I just wanted to say that the contest idea is very creative and a really, really good idea! I love the prize too...every time I use my tweezers I think about how substandard they are to your forceps! BTW - M is so cute...thanks for the awesome 100th post!

  16. wow- that's hard. Yet fun!!
    I was so grateful for my little interpretor that explained everything her little sister said for months.

    Here's my answers:
    1. help me tow it. Or holy molek. or hold me something??
    2. I did it.
    3. Good night
    4. Calculator
    5. Hurt my tummy

    I hope I win. I need to win. My eyebrows would love you forever!


Sock it to me!