Monday, May 24, 2010

How to Tell The Difference Between InkMom and MommyJ

My sister is a blogger, too. If you're not yet aware of MommyJ's blog, you're in for a treat. She's funny and smart, a great writer and a fantastic mom. Please be sure to check out her companion post. You won't get the full story unless you read us both!

MommyJ and I are exactly 4 years, 4 months and 4 days apart. I am older. And bossier (and whatever she says in her blog, I totally told her to say it).

When we were younger, people often asked if we were twins. This was a little galling, especially for me, the older sister. We used to spend inordinate amounts of time staring at our faces, smushed together in the hallway mirror, trying to find the so-called similarities. Feature by feature, it's all different.


But the overall impression is pretty much the same.


We live in the same stake -- and I live within the bounds of the very same ward our parents have attended since I was two years old. This causes confusion, especially for those who only know one or both of us in passing. One particular member of our stake presidency never fails to get it wrong, even when one of us is pregnant.


Some of you lucky ducks may have the distinct privilege of meeting both me and MommyJ if you happen to be at the Casual Blogger Conference this coming weekend. Just in case you're confused, I've provided a primer. Study up -- we expect you to get it right 100% of the time. Here's how:

 This is my humility picture. And also my reminder to pluck my eyebrows before we leave on Thursday.

1. InkMom has curly hair. MommyJ does not. This would make things easier . . . except I'm getting a blow-out (of the hair -- not diaper -- variety) on Wednesday, so I won't actually have curly hair for the conference. Bummer. It's really something to behold. (And waaaaay better now that I  have been de-mulleted.) But even straightened, it's bigger than MommyJ's straight hair.

2. InkMom's baby is older. Little Miscellany (almost 7 months) and Baby Ivy (6 weeks) will be attending the conference with us. This means that my baby will almost-crawl her way over to any beautifully painted toes she can find, squawking and screeching as she goes. Please forgive her if she somehow salivates on any part of your belongings or -- egad -- your toes. And be fairly warned -- we call her The Pterodactyl for a reason.


3. MommyJ is younger, as I've already said, but (hopefully) you can't tell by looking at us. Except MommyJ wears younger shoes. And, due to some overzealous plucking, I have lots of half inch-long wiry gray hairs sticking our all over my head.

4. InkMom looks like she hijacked a produce stand and hid a couple of melons in her shirt. MommyJ looks like she's smuggling cantaloupes in her pantalones. We're pretty sure our mom overdosed on Big Macs when she was pregnant with me and I am the unfortunate result of the presence of unregulated bovine growth hormone in the beef. (Ask her this weekend -- she'll be at the conference, too!)


5. InkMom uses big words in every day conversation, without a single thought for the vocabulary size of her audience. MommyJ sounds smart and incredibly capable (because she is) without being a pompous walking dictionary.

6. InkMom has an ego the size of Texas. Maybe bigger. MommyJ is a singularly nice person who is a delight to be around because somehow, everyone is worthy of her friendship.

So let's review, shall we? I'm the big sister in almost every sense of the word: bigger hair, bigger baby, bigger boobs, bigger vocabulary, bigger ego. Thank goodness she's the one with the bigger butt!




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18 comments:

  1. Is someone going to make me hold a baby during the panel? I can not promise that your child will not be scarred for life.

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  2. I don't mind kids slobbering on me. It will help keep me from getting homesick.

    I have a sister who is 4 years younger that I am, and I would be thrilled if people couldn't tell us apart. The worst part is that we do look a lot alike, but I would have to get better hair, less weight, cooler clothes, and less wrinkles for us to get confused.

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  3. This is funny to me because if I was comparing Whit and I I would say the same things you said about your sister about Whit and would say the not so nicer things about myself. You make yourself sound like you're not pleasant to be around but I hope you don't really think that! YW wouldn't have been the same without you!

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  4. LOL--I love the pictures, and can't believe how much you look like your mom. (Who is so dear to me, so that's a good thing!) I love it that you are all going together and hope that Utah provides good weather--I hear it's been a bit fickle lately.

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  5. You definitely look like sisters, but so not twins. People used to say the same thing about my sis and I and ohhhh man did it bug.

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  6. Hahaha... you two are so stinking hilarious! I so loved this post.

    As I told your sister, i'm going to keep my eyes trained on the hair at all times to eliminate any confusion.

    I so look forward to meeting you at the CBC!

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  7. Wish I was going! Way to confuse everyone with the straight hair. Can't wait to hear all about the conference.
    I always had people think my younger sister was older. But I was 24 at the time, so I loved it.

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  8. Once again, I'm rather disturbed by the things we have in common. Seven month old baby who screeches like a pterodactyl? Check. Huge ego? Check. Huger boobs? Double-Check (heh).

    So wish I were going to be there to meet you both. I was going to say I hope you have a blast but I KNOW you will so I don't need to say that at all.

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  9. So funny! I wish I had gotten to know you better back in the day! I remember you seeming to be so serious and working so hard all the time on your music, etc. Little sis seemed to have no worries and totally the life of the party! Good memories! Now, I bet it's pretty even in the good times dept! Have fun at the conference and take lots of pics!

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  10. I hope to meet you this weekend!

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  11. This was so fun to read! It's obvious you guys have a lot of fun together!

    Have fun this weekend!

    And yes, I said the word "fun" three times in this comment. Perhaps I need InkMom to help me with some more intelligent sounding synonyms....

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  12. Love reading the two posts!! You two are such cute sisters!

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  13. This is fabulous. You two sound like quite a pair!

    I didn't realize our little ones are so close together. My guy will be slobbering on toes as well. (He is almost 7 months.)

    Quick question--what are you going to do about nap times? I am terrified that my little one is going to, um, freak out because I have no where to put him when he is exhausted. Do you have a solution? (A car seat?) (I'm a bit anxious about this conference thing.)

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  14. It looks like you and your sister have such a great relationship! That is such a blessing to be thankful for- enjoy each other!!

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  15. So nice to meet you today at CBC. Seeing you and your sister made me really miss mine. :(

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  16. You guys totally crack me up. (Here as well as during our random gathering in the hall conversation tonight!)

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  17. So funny. Sitting in your "voice" panel and looking at the author bios, I notice you both live in WNC. And then I wonder, are they friends? hhmmmm, they sure look alike! How fun! Can I be your older, fatter, short-hair sister? My baby will be even younger...

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  18. Okay I did NOT see this before CBC so I did not know you had curly hair! So cute. I like it blown out too. So great meeting you and your sis. The panel was great. What a fun weekend. So, so tired.

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Sock it to me!