Wednesday, June 1, 2011

The blahs

1. I received an e-mail the other day with this ubiquitous stamp at the bottom: "Sent from my iPhone 4"

It isn't enough that you have an iPhone and I don't -- you have to throw in the "4" just to rub it in. I got an iPad for Mother's Day, and I hate to use it for e-mail because I haven't figured out yet how to turn off that little statement, with all of it's implications: I didn't want to say anything, but you should know that now I am more super awesome than you are. And also I probably have more money. Or at least I did before I dropped a bundle on this gadget. Neener, neener!

2. If I received a terminal diagnosis tomorrow, here is where I would go for my drop dead trip:

Redwoods in the Mist
Redwoods in the Mist. Photo found here.

The giant trees are calling to me, people. I don't know what it is about these trees, but I could conjure up a good cry just looking at pictures. Every time I sit down at the computer to work on something, somehow I end up scrolling through images of Redwood National Park. I know, this gives me more in common with Kate Gosselin than I would ordinarily admit to, but the draw is undeniable.

There's an old growth forest further west, way up in the mountains here, called Joyce Kilmer Memorial Forest -- one of the largest tracts of untouched hardwoods east of the Mississippi. I've been, and it's awe-inspiring: some of the oldest trees are over 400 years old. I was no less tearful there, but I still want to see the giants.

3. Here is what happened in at our house yesterday: Craig had an MRI (not, actually, in our house) on his right knee (most likely a torn meniscus, surgery pending), which he injured a mere fraction of a second after breaking his left foot in a thoroughly un-macho way; Mason was diagnosed with Mononucleosis pending the virus titer results we'll have in another day or so (HOW does a 4-year-old get mono?!?); I decided since he really is sick I'll stop being so hard on him about the whining, but heaven help me if he's going to whine like this for the next month; Laney puked all over the neighbor's swingset and then had diarrhea in her vomit bathwater; Garrett was stung by a hornet, giving me a great opportunity to whip out my package of chewing tobacco; my eyes glazed over and Craig had to hit the reset button when he got home from work; and the hero also brought dinner. (This is why my sister stopped wallowing: my day was WAAAAAY worse than hers.)

4. I won a dress from Shabby Apple. All I did to enter was give some money to Rising Star Outreach on behalf of Karl Marx, the little boy sponsored by MommySnark. My sister, Jenny (who is also Mommy Snark) sponsored the giveaway, and she told me that once the winner was determined, and it was me, just for kicks, she tried the random number generator again. It was still me. Eight times in a row. So it's karma. Yay for a new dress!

5. But booh to the blahs. And writer's block, from which I am suffering something fierce. I think it's because my brain is being slowly liquefied from overexposure to bodily secretions not my own. That's right, childless people! How's that for birth control?

6. I just read this to my husband, and he said, "It's great. It doesn't have to be a work of art every time you post." (What? This amazingly fantastical post is not a work of art?!? How dare he?!?) Except it does, or so I've led myself to believe. And apparently, I'm incapable lately. (Kim, please ignore all the sentence fragments, and the egregious run-on.) Oh, well. Aaaaaannnd . . . Publish!

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  1. OK, that's funny!
    I'm sorry there was diahhrea vomit water involved, but it does remind me how easy life was with toddlers and young people.
    Teens..........put me over the edge.

    Hope you get over your blahs and get to those big big trees.

  2. So, so very glad you posted. Writing about the blahs is better than writing nothing at all. Ease back in slowly, sister. I miss your words.

    Poop in vomit water is horrible. And way worse than anything I dealt with yesterday.

    The fact that you used the word egregious even when you were writing about nothing makes me love you. I mean loce you. And that's all.

  3. I'm with Jenny--I miss your words.

    And I'm with you on the redwoods. When we were children (the older ones--probably before the younger 4) and lived in california we would go camping there every summer. I long to take my own kids there, but am not sure how that will ever happen. But I'm not giving up, because I've also longed to take my kids to Zions for a couple of years now and it just worked out this year that we can do it.

    And while I am avoiding my bed I will tell you the story of the last time I went to where the redwoods are. Russ had a business trip that I went on just a few months after my mom died. While he was busy during the day I had a great time gallivanting around the Calif countryside. One day I stopped and bought a sandwich somewhere, and then drove up some mountain to a redwood forest. Only by the time I got to the top of the mountain I was so carsick I couldn't bear to even breathe, so I just took a quick picture and drove back down. (A less carsick way...)

  4. ahhh there you've been away too long.
    Hope your babies are feeling better and I bet that new dress is gonna need some new shoes to go with, hunh?
    As for those trees you're dreamin' too, me too.

  5. Go to settings (might be in utilities folder). On left, find "Mail, contacts, Calendars" tab and click it. 3/4 of the way down on right is a line that reads "Signature" click the arrow next to it and you can change what is sent at the bottom of the email.

    Not that I have any experience with those little machines or anything. (I keep the signature on so any spelling/grammar mistakes can be blamed on the phone auto correct instead of my stupidity).

    Your yesterday will make the rest of my week seem like a cake walk (knock on wood).

  6. I agree with the iphone thing. Bugs me. Maybe because I don't have one? Don't know.. but I don't care where you sent your email from or where you do what you do.
    Beautiful photo of the trees.
    And really.. the random number generator kept picking the same number?? Weird and not really random, but very happy you won the dress!!

  7. Ah, kids. We've been dealing with my toddler's crusty p***s all day. (Saving you from creepy trolls). Turns out his circumcision was botched and he's getting another procedure soon. In the mean time, he has spent the day telling everyone "My p***s hurts!"


  8. I always just delete the "sent from my iphone" before I send it. It works.

    And also, if you like Mexican, The Blue Iguana in SLC is pretty amazing. Have a fun trip!!

  9. Oh my ... what a day, why do all those things have to come in one day???? Just wondering...

    So glad to read you again - love your post!!

    Sorry I can't help you with the bra store situation, I'm a cheapo who buys bras once a year when they're on sale :/

    Surely by now everyone is healthier, right?!

    Enjoy your trip!


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