I'm (Not) Crazy Mommy: Just gross.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Just gross.

A few days ago, G-Dog called me into the bathroom to . . . okay, I'll say it. Wipe his bum after he used the potty. As I walked into the bathroom, I caught him wiping his own bum . . . on the rug in front of the bathtub. I screamed in horror, and recoiled in absolute disgust, immediately grabbing him and finishing the job he had started.

He laughed and laughed, and laughed some more. I, of course, had a long, one-sided conversation about gross things, and he just kept laughing.

Later that night, when CPod came home from work, G-Dog made sure to tell him what he had done. He was, after all, proud of his handiwork. And, I suspect, absolutely pleased with the helluva reaction he got out of me.

"Daddy, isn't that funny? I wiped my bum on the rug!"

CPod didn't disappoint him, either. "No, G-Dog, that's really gross!"

G-Dog was ready for him. "But Daddy, gross is funny!"

Profound, isn't he?

And here is a picture of something gross that I'm 100% certain is NOT funny:

I dropped a glass bottle of delicious Italian soda, and it pooled under my refrigerator. I pulled off the front, and tried to clean it up. I couldn't believe how dirty it was under there. What you're seeing here is 7 years of dust. I asked CPod to pull out the refrigerator and help me clean it up. We stared at a few minutes, tried to clean it up for a second or two, and CPod finally went downstairs to get a putty knife. I am shuddering right now just thinking of the bug possibilities.

And another picture, just because I love it:

15 comments:

Kristina P.March 14, 2009 at 9:20 PM
I so thought you were going to post a picture of the rug. Blech.
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CindyMarch 14, 2009 at 9:50 PM
I can never believe how awful the floor is under appliances. I try not to look!

And are you really asleep in that darling picture? Because if you are, I am SO jealous. I sleep only in my bed, not touching anybody.
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AndreaMarch 14, 2009 at 10:57 PM
so cute and so gross.
I should do some cleaning.
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Jenny P.March 14, 2009 at 11:11 PM
okay. that picture was totally disgusting.

Not the one of all the kids sleeping... I think someone in that picture is sleeping, but I don't think everyone is sleeping. Because how the heck would that ever happen?
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JenMarch 15, 2009 at 12:00 AM
So you liked the aranciata?
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Jenni JamesMarch 15, 2009 at 5:28 AM
LOLOL! You look like me... all curled up on the couch with loads of chidlren on top.

And uh, yeah, that was gross.

Gotta love BOYS!
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ucmamaMarch 15, 2009 at 11:24 AM
wheeeeeewwwwww! SO glad I'm not the only one with nasty boys! Or a nasty underfridge.
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ClaudiaMarch 15, 2009 at 1:52 PM
that's why I don't look under it :)

Funny how all of you (except one) sleep with a semi-smile on your face!
Very cute picture though.
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That GirlMarch 15, 2009 at 3:58 PM
I totally laughed out loud. And my four-year-old asked why. But I didn't tell him, because then he might get some ideas. YOU know.

I just love it when we have company and my son yells from the bathroom - "Moooooooooooom! Come wipe my poop!"

Lovely.
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UnknownMarch 15, 2009 at 8:15 PM
That is so gross. And a little funny. But only from an outsider who did not have to witness or help clean up the mess. (And I would never admit to G-dog that it was funny.)

You didn't even have to tell me what that fir picture was. I pulled my refrigerator out a couple of weeks ago to find the same nasty surprise. Mine looked at least that bad and it was only a 4 year old mess.

I love, love the picture of you and your boys!
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UnknownMarch 15, 2009 at 8:17 PM
first picture. not fir picture.
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in time outMarch 16, 2009 at 4:37 AM
this is excellent. real and raw, and reality. and so cute...thanks for sharing. hugs.
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UnknownMarch 16, 2009 at 11:09 AM
Well aren't THEY all a bunch of cynical commenters. If you say you're all sleeping, then you're all sleeping. End of discussion.

I knew before you ID'd it that we were looking under your fridge. And either you had cleaned up a whole lot of it first, or your family is extra tidy. As the underside of major appliances go, it's not bad!

You realize it's TOTALLY C-pod's fault your kids think gross is funny. MEN!
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The Stratton FamilyMarch 16, 2009 at 9:08 PM
GROSS is right! Any wiping of bums anywhere but(t) on toilet paper is not funny. I have a friends whose little boy enjoys poop art and play. I pray I never get a child who enjoys poop fun. I will also pray for you...It sounds like you may need it :)
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NOBODYMarch 19, 2009 at 1:29 PM
My sons are never that gross.
Ever.

I LOVE that picture. It looks like MommyJ on the couch too. I've never looked at you two and thought the sisterly resemblance was all that notable, but I see it there!
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