Saturday, October 31, 2009

Loose Ends

Tying up loose ends, that's what I've been doing here the past couple of days. My due date is Wednesday, and while I don't expect to make any frantic midnight trips to the hospital or anything before then, I'm trying to be prepared in the unlikely event I actually go into labor unassisted. So . . . blogging loose ends, mostly about pregnancy, neatly tied up. You probably won't hear from me again until baby girl has finally made her entrance into this world.

1. I put the down comforter on our bed weeks ago. And then it got warm again. But now . . . now, I sink into the pillows and relish the weight of winter time. It is a singular pleasure to hear the rustle of a down comforter, and feel cozy, snug, safe in your warm bed. I've been waiting for this since May!

2. I believe people shorter than 5'4" should only be required to gestate for 38 weeks. Anyone with me? Because, seriously, there is NO WHERE for this baby to go . . . but out. And my body does not seem to be willing to comply. Did you know I've never gone into labor (and neither has my sister, nor did my mother or my grandmother)? With the twins, I was induced because amniotic fluid was low on baby A, and it was a necessity. With MayDay, I was induced with  foley ball (e-mail me if you want to know what that means) because after a long and painful induction with the twins, I was a little pitocin-shy. Now, at 39+ weeks, I am, to quote my doctor, "High, tight, and thick." Nice. In other words, I'm still going to be pregnant at Christmas.

3. I had forgotten that pregnancy lowers all kinds of boundaries for people. For example, I find myself talking about the state of my cervix with people who don't normally have an interest in how my reproductive organs are functioning. Even strangers ask me questions that would be totally inappropriate were it not for my obviously pregnant state. Yes, thank you, I do know where babies come from. Yes, I am also aware of what . . . action may be taken at home to possibly bring on labor. Same thing that gets you knocked up in the first place, right? No, we weren't trying to have a baby, but we just couldn't keep our hands off of each other. Too much information? Well, you're the one that brought it up! I mean, do people realize when they ask these questions that they, strangers, are really asking to know some of the most intimate details of my life? It's as though the only reason anyone would have more than two children is a lack of self control. Which brings me to . . .

4. Last week, we stopped by Verizon on the way home to take care of a cell phone problem. The boys had been cooped up all day, it was near bedtime, and we were right in the middle of what we affectionately refer to as "sleep throes" so instead of leaving CPod in the car with them, we all came inside. They ran around the store, and maybe they were a little noisy, but they did not mess with any of the display phones or destroy property.

As I neared the front of the line, CPod corralled them back to the car while I finished up our business. The woman in front of me, who five minutes before had asked me when I was due and if I knew what I was having, began to make small talk with the agent assisting her. "Don't you just love it when people bring their kids in here and just let them run wild?" she said to him. He just nodded, and she kept going. "And she's pregnant again!"

Really? Really? Oh, how I wanted to say something to her. It would have been easy to engage her in a brief but scathing conversation about parenting styles, kindness to strangers, Verizon's lack of posted policy regarding the presence of children in their store, and -- egad -- passing snap judgments on people you do not know based solely on 5 minutes of observation without interaction, and what types of judgments people might make of her based on her southern-redneck accent, smoker's voice, mullet haircut, and the Sam's Club employee ID hanging around her neck. Did I make any of those judgments? No. I know too many good, intelligent southern rednecks to assume they're all stupid, and I can't disrespect anyone who has a job -- of any legal type -- in this economy. I'm much more likely to judge her based on the duplicity I witnessed in the brief minutes of our encounter. People make me crazy.

5. We had our Trunk or Treat last night at church. It was . . . a bit much for me, I think. If we had that many people at church every Sunday, our ward would split. And they never plan for as many people as we actually get, which makes it just plain chaotic. My children, however, were adorable. (Photos to follow after real trick or treating tonight.) ConMan & GDog dressed up as Mario and Luigi, and MayDay was Toad -- all from Super Mario Bros. They've been planning this since August, and, I'm proud to say, since they gave me so much advance notice, and because Grandma so graciously crafted an adorable little vest for our little Toad, their costumes did not come pre-assembled in a bag from Target, thank you very much.

6. CPod came up with an awesome last-minute costume: The Edge. (Awesomely fantastic U2 lead guitarist, for you cave-dwellers.) He put on one of the boys' little beanie caps, drew on a goatee, and hooked a little kid rock star guitar in the carpenter loop of his jeans. Only three people at church got it. In case we weren't sure before, we now know for certain who are the three coolest people in our ward.

7.  I wore an orange t-shirt and taped jack-o-lantern face parts to my belly. Really, it was my only fitting option. And that, my friends, is the main reason why . . .

8. I'm done going to church until after the baby is born. Seriously. Because I just can't bring myself to wear my uniform of yoga pants and oversized hoodie to Sacrament meeting. It's not that I'm that huge, really -- I've only gained about 12 pounds (because the secret to healthy pregnancy weight gain is to just be fat before you get pregnant), but at this point, nothing feels good, fits right, stays where it should, or, most importantly, flatters the shape of anyone who looks like Humpty Dumpy. Who was probably a pregnant woman anyway.

Signing off until baby gets here!


  1. I hope everything goes well!!! And yes we should only have to go 38 weeks. :)

  2. Good luck! I can't wait to see pics of the new baby girl!

  3. Good luck, E!! I hope she comes this week!

    Have a nice baby!

  4. Good luck with everything. God bless you with a safe and speedy delivery. I can't wait to know what her name is.
    Love to you and yours!

  5. I don't think I've ever been to a Trunk or Treat. We live in a branch, so it sucks.

    I hope everything goes well!!

  6. Best of luck with baby! Hope the arrival is REAALLLY soon!

  7. I'm sad that I'm not one of the coolest people. I better get out of my cave.
    Nothing like being pregnant or having a baby with you to bring on the comments of everyone. Or to go anywhere with more than 2 kids. argh.
    I love down comforters. Sadly dh hates them, and made me get rid of mine (from Australia). Sad sad sad. Enjoy yours!
    Hope labor goes well.

  8. It really is crazy the conversations you get into with people when you're preganant. I've never really thought about it until this time around: explaining dilation to my 14 year old nephew is not something I ever expected to do!

    I just saw a picture of a costume that made me laugh: She did black sweats, with white paint for a skeleton, but also added a tiny fetal one for her tummy. That would also work.

    Acutally, my favorite pregant costume was my friends. She wore a big toga thing, wand and wings, with a sash labeled "fertility fairy."

    Good luck!

  9. I'm so excited for you to meet your little girl! And here's hoping she has curly red hair... ;)

  10. I'm in complete agreement that we short mom's should only have to gestate for 38 weeks (actually, five of my six pregnancies were 38 or less weeks--so my body agrees).

    I REALLY get annoyed when people make judgments about how many children people have (or don't have, for that matter). It's just none of their business and to try and make it their business will never come off as anything but rude, crude and socially unacceptable.

    Good luck with your little one!!! It always sends a little thrill though me when I hear that someone is in labor -- it's truly one of life's greatest adventures!

  11. Your post had me telling that lady at Verizon off in my head. Although, I wouldn't probably do that, I would just think about it forever.

    Love Cpod's costume! Only 1 pt taken away for not growing a real goatee -:)

    I never went past 38 weeks with either of my singletons. My cervix is finished holding back right around that point. And I am taller than 5'6 and have the longest waist. I know, it's not fair, but for the record, I thought your bump was way cute!

    You just need to give birth soon my dear! All will be well with the world again. I can't wait to hear about the event! I am sending you labor dust just because that would be great if she surprises!

    Take care!

  12. Good luck with everything.

    I hate going to church right before giving birth. But only because I hate people talking to me for about a week before I give birth. If one more person asks me when my due date is again, I may tear their head off. I'm not nice that very last week. Not nice at all. . .

  13. Here, here for down comforters!

    I am just barely under 5'4" and was always 2 weeks late. My body defied gravity. I should not have been able to stand with a baby sticking out that far in front of me!

    All those people asking why I hadn't had the baby yet (YOU"RE still here?) seemed like plenty of reason to not go...

    I feel your joy...and your pain.

  14. I'm laughing, but also sort of crying. Good luck - here's hopes for a happy, uneventful delivery.

  15. Bless your heart. You can tell you are ready ready ready to have this baby!
    Some DO's:
    -Do stay hydrated! Late in pregnancy, mommies want to limit their fluid intake because of the pressure on your bladder...don't limit. Keep drinking and stay close to a bathroom. Your uterine muscles will work more efficiently if you are well-hydrated...which means an easier labor.
    -DO get in some cat naps during the day. Plop the kids down in front of the TV and rest if you have no help at home.
    -Do sleep on your left side for optimum positioning of the baby for labor & delivery! And when you sit, don't lay back, lean forward with your belly hanging in front--again for the best position!
    - Do have your bags packed for you and hubby by the front door! Take some honeystix with you to the hospital for a burst of energy during labor!
    - DO take long deep breaths in with each Braxton Hicks ctx, so you can practice your breathing techniques for real labor!
    - DO Say YES to thsoe who offer to bring in a meal or child care these last weeks of pregnancy!

    This'll all be over before you know it!

    Good Luck!

  16. Good luck!
    I just want to show my appreciation for all of the great posts you write!
    I have a "One Lovely Blog" award for you over on my blog as a little thank you- just hop by at
    (I know that you will be busy with the new baby for awhile, so take your time with passing it on...)

  17. Somehow, my bloglines ignored you until today. I'm a little put out at it.

    When I was pregnant with my fourth in Washington the reactions went decidedly negative. Three was okay. Four was not.

    And yes, the TMI questions get me every time. That and the belly rubbing. Leave me alone!!!

    I'm so glad I'm (hopefully) done with that.


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